Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sneaky Like A Hoser

After the success of my Members Of The Tribe post, I started to think about other groups that are in dire need of some recognition. I found Canadians at the top of my list. Most people think that being a Canadian living abroad is a snap, but I can tell you from experience that our presence in the United States is more complicated than you think. Sure, we pass as Americans for the most part, with or without subtle accents, but as invaders from the north there are minute details that can easily bust our cover. For example, there's the eternal debate over 'cutlery vs. silverware' - why would you call it silverware if it isn't silver? And who could ignore the fact that the only countries not using the International System of Units (aka the metric system) are the United States, Burma and Liberia. We're so similar, yet so different! In Canada we learn about Canadian history, and almost entirely ignore American history, a fact that agitated my American father to no end. Being a Canadian in the United States is like being the best spy ever: we observe, we succeed, and we do it all with your consent... your adoration even!

Canadian born celebrities have been part of the infamous Brain Drain for decades. Just watch old episodes of Saturday Night Live, and you'll see that a handful of their most successful comedians were from the North. A new generation of Canadians have infiltrated American media, and not only are they talented, but they're extremely attractive. Not bad, eh?

With Ellen Page's new flick Whip It! hitting theaters Friday, and the luscious Evangeline Lilly making LOST fans lose their minds, Canadian actresses are slowly seducing the nation. And who could forget the Ryans! Both Ryan Reynolds, and Ryan Gosling grew up before Canadian audiences' eyes, on their respective teen soaps Hillside, and Breaker High. It would be safe to say that they also have their feet firmly planted in Sex Symbol Status. So the next time you think about cracking a Canuck joke, just remember you may be in the company of some undercover agents.

10 comments:

  1. I love this article. Thank you for reminding our friends in the South that many of those whom we all adore are in fact from Canada. Next up... Alanis!

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  2. So true!! this post got me thinking of all the valuable canadian groups that contribute so much but are lacking the recognition. I immediately thought of one specific group that could use a glimmer of the lime light ---our olympic athletes. They are one resilient crew-one that sadly scrapes the bottom of the barrel in terms of receiving any type of sponsorship...especially in comparison to the US athletes! It comes down to our low focus on sports, the unfortunate and perhaps unconscious consideration of our athletes as 'cheap labour'. all the while, here they are representing our country, providing great entertainment, holding great potential value to sponsors as they propel various brand name clothing lines to the top with their associations.
    Didn't know i felt so strongly about this.
    End of rant.

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  3. fuckin canadiens. steal good jobs away from real northern americans

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  4. Not stealing any jobs away from someone who can't even spell or write a proper sentence! Burn!!!

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  5. ugh Ryan Reynolds is canadian? Not into him anymore. You just shouldn't mix canadians and americans.

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  6. What's with all the haterade? Where's the love people?

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  7. I for one love Canadians. Prince William is so dreamy, and Madonna is like maybe the sexiest person ever, let alone canadian.

    These people are being jerks. Just bcuz Canada is a small Island doesn't mean they shouldn't be taken seriously.

    I think the at the G20 summit in Philadelphia this year will be the first time people really take Canada seriously.

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  8. I love Canada, but the metric system sucks, and so does canadian bacon. Actually I hate Canada in general, well except Wayne Gretzky he is really awesome at hockey

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  9. there is nothing to hate about Canada. Stop trying to come up with little jabs against a country that is your ally and start fixing your own problems.

    ps. prince william? are you serious?

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  10. Ally? Beaver Tail get a clue 9/11 wasn't an inside job it was a Canadian job. Have we not learned anything from the hit film Canadian Bacon?? Rea Perlman=Awesome Canada= Terrorist state.

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